There is an introductory chapter in “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin that I want to share some thoughts on, and we are also nearly done with August, which means my first month is coming to an end. Let’s get going with this! This post is part of my blog series The Happiness Project.
The Book Introduction
Gretchen Rubin is very type A and fully aware of it, too. What I like about her is that she isn’t stuck up about it but seemingly at ease, so the reading experience doesn’t suffer in my opinion.
The introductory “Getting Started” practically grabs the reader into an honest evaluation of where the author finds herself subjectively, what she thinks her life could look like, and what her shortcomings are. Not everyone is capable of this level of honesty about themself, so kudos.
A Reflection On Privilege
At the same time, it might be difficult to relate to a person, who has as much privilege as Gretchen Rubin clearly does.
My own response is that a person with less privilege likely would not have the time to write a book like this, so if we set the circumstances of the author aside, there are lessons to learn and benefit from.
After all, each Happiness Project will be uniquely tailored to a unique everyday.
Some Wisdoms By Rubin
An insight that I find categorising as a key moment is how she discusses time with herself: “As soon as I have some free time…” only to conclude that she never has free time. I think many of us can relate to that.
The Happiness Project is not just a batch of random tasks thrown together, but a Project—for a great reason.
Ever heard “Out of sight, out of mind”? New year’s resolutions are abandoned in January, lifestyle change and habit building can be ridiculously hard, and “new-me-tomorrows/next-years” never arrive, precisely because these changes aren’t treated as projects.
Gretchen Rubin also states that her life wouldn’t change unless she made it change. This claiming of ownership is at the core of wellness.
If we want different circumstances, we must take active steps to change what we can, or learn to live with what cannot be changed. Otherwise we will subjectively perceive our wellness as poor or mediocre.
People enter change management without proper planning, and so their projects fail without ever having had a chance to succeed. However, the only way to ensure success is by being clear about a desired outcome, prioritising regular check-ins, and building something significant through small daily actions.
I won’t even get into the part where the elusive definition of happiness is discussed, but encourage you to ponder it yourself. Its implications are profound in my opinion: a subjective experience of happiness is to some extent subjectively defined.
Gretchen Rubin’s Twelve Commandments
The twelve commandments that the author chose to include did not resonate with me as a necessary component of the Happiness Project. Your mileage may vary.
There is a guidline I do my best to remember in my daily actions, though. It is: “Done is better than perfect”.
Secrets Of Adulthood
It is easy to skim through Rubin’s Secrets of Adulthood. One of them stands out to me: “You can choose what you do; you can’t choose what you like to do”.
I sat with this one for quite some time. If we want a happy home, there will be discussions on cleaning and other routines, which have to happen peacefully. If we want a happy employment, we have hopefully options regarding how and where we work. And if we want a happy leisure, we must find balance in addition to nurturing hobbies we care about the most.
Scathing Reviews
The Happiness Project has received some absolutely brutal reviews on GoodReads. They leave me wondering whether privileged people deserve happiness at all? Are we entitled at all to improve our lives?
I have privilege in many parts of life yet I know that sorrow and pain does not look at socio-economic background, race, age, education, etc. when deciding to stop by. Very privileged people lose loved ones, become unemployed, or get illness the same way as those with less privilege.
Personally I find privilege a serious problem only when the person holding it wants to create and maintain a society in which its citizens are of different value, with unequal rights. If they on the other hand make active effort to reduce differences such that every member of society is granted the same rights and opportunities, how is it a bad thing that they are already enjoying some good things? Should those things be removed as a form of punishment?
Some of Gretchen Rubin’s final words in the intro are: “One of my goals for the happiness project was to prepare for adversity—to develop the self-discipline and the mental habits to deal with a bad thing when it happened.”
The GoodReads readers writing nasty stuff seem to think that someone, who happened to be born by chance into certain circumstances, has no place working on personal growth nor sharing their thoughts on the matter.
All I can say is life isn’t about oppression olympics. We should strive to create healthier and happier life circumstances for everyone, not punch down appallingly on those ahead of us.
My August Project
My month 1 aka August project became about health and wellness. There are many activities I do irregularly, which I would prefer to become a regular routine such as daily or weekly. Here are some examples of health routines.
Facial Skin Care
I am past 40 and it shows. Taking better care of my face is a priority, but I don’t want it to feel like a chore. It should be something that brings me joy, something I want to do, so August can help in establishing a quietly soothing routine.
Flossing
Flossing is no favourite, so a toothbrush type of device by Jordan with changeable tip has entered my home. I never got the hang of using thread, and the single-use short sticks demand an uncomfortable angle for the innermost teeth, which led to some research regarding alternatives.
It certainly isn’t an environmentally friendly option, but either I floss this way or not at all. The latter is no option.
I have made a similar decision regarding my toothbrush. It uses electricity and therefore needs changeable brush heads. The depth at which it cleans is far superior to how I manage by hand, and the buildup of tartar is less, too. Hopefully some better materials will be developed in the future, because I prefer the cleaning result created by an electric toothbrush.
Nasya
Nasya is the ayurvedic practice of washing nostrils and sinuses with salt water. I bought a neti pot (nose horn) some months ago, tested it and got cold feet.
It was time to create a routine of it this month, so on my mental list it went.
Balance
Due to my previously unsuccessful attempts at this project, which you can read about in my earlier blog post, I wanted August to go by feeling. No lists, no demands. Simply checking in with myself regarding energy levels available for this project.
Find out in my next blog post how I fared in August!
Wrapping Up
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You find the blog posts of this series in their own collection by clicking on this button:
Photo credit: S O C I A L . C U T.
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